Empty Nester Guys - start dating your wife again

This is us on a date - circa 1994

Remember the days when you first met and started dating? It was all so fresh and you would go out of your way to impress the beautiful woman who is now your wife. But life gets tough, you have kids, things get busy, and adulting takes over. Totally understandable. I’ve definitely been there. But now that we’re empty nesting and starting a new phase of our lives, I had a thought- what if I started dating my wife again?

I wasn’t even sure what exactly that meant at first but I made it a point to try some things with this mindset as my guide. It’s easier than you think and the payoff for making just a little more effort is huge. Now that it’s just the two of you there’s no better time to put some romance back in your lives and rediscover what made you guys crazy about each other in the first place. With all that said, here are a few easy things you can start doing right now to start dating your wife again. 

Open the car door for her

This one is super easy and brings back the lost art of chivalry. And like Damone once said, "it’s just a classy move." Next time you’re heading back to the car from a movie, dinner, or even the grocery store, just jump a few steps ahead of her and open the door. She will love it and you’ll be surprised how great it makes you feel, too. Bonus points for opening other doors for her too, like at restaurants and other public establishments. 

Recent card that I snuck into my wife's luggage before a trip. It had the extra bonus of an inside joke.

Surprise her with a card

Next time she sends you out to pick up that random item that you guys forgot to add to the main grocery list, pop on over to the card aisle and pick something up. Instead of leaving it out on the kitchen table or handing it to her, hide it somewhere she will find it. It’s a nice touch and adds a bigger element of surprise to have her discover it. This also works great if she’s going on a business trip or a weekend away. Hide the card in her suitcase so she finds it when she unpacks. Pro tip: the card slots that are more empty than the others generally have the better cards.

Check the fit on those jeans...much better than the old ones!

Wardrobe update 

Stop in at Kohls or jump on Amazon and take a look at a new dress shirt or two and some new kicks. Also, check the fit on those jeans. I saw a video of myself playing with my band a couple years ago and the butt was sagging. I was surprised to find some better fitting options out there than the regular “dad fit” jeans and they just look a whole lot better, whether or not you’re on stage. While you’re at it, update those old underwear and get something a little better. This will really blow her mind since I’m sure that’s something she either pushes you to do, or just orders for you. You know I’m right… Once you have a few new things together, next time you go out to dinner, ditch the T-shirt and throw on that new button down or polo shirt, and the new shoes. She will notice. Taking the initiative on this is going to be attractive to a wife who is used to always pushing you to do this, and it shows that you want to impress her, just like you did back when you were first dating. 

Let her know… 

Like a lot of guys, I really have trouble expressing how I feel, even though I have nice thoughts about her all the time. What I started doing was just saying it out loud the minute I was thinking it. “Hey I like those shoes,” or “your hair looks great…” things like that go a really long way to lifting your wife up and they also serve as a reminder to yourself about all the things you love about her. I also started sending her texts during the day just telling her what I thought. I creatively named it “thought of the day” and she even started sending them back about me. These don’t have to be big epoch novellas - just a simple thing like “I really enjoyed our dinner together last night.” You’ll be surprised how this little thing can bring you closer together. 

Hold hands

This is so simple but makes a big difference for both of you. Next time you’re walking somewhere just roll on up next to your wife and start holding her hand. Simple, yes, but will really bring you back to the early days of dating. 

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These are just a few ideas to get things started. Once you take on the mindset of dating your wife again, it’s easier than you might think and makes a huge difference in your relationship, especially since it’s now just the two of you.